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What should you do when you want to stop your breakup? Should you send flowers to your ex girlfriend in an attempt to win her back? When ending the relationship for good isn’t what you want, your thoughts may turn to figuring out what action steps you can take to mend things with your ex. For many men, buying something for their ex is the first thought that crosses their mind.

This article explores why sending flowers to your ex girlfriend will be a critical mistake that will do more harm than good.

Should you send flowers to an ex girlfriend? The short answer is no. The first thing you need to realize is gifts like flowers should be bought when a relationship is going strong, not when it is broken. Many men get this dead wrong.

The right time to buy flowers is when a relationship is going strong and you want to show your girlfriend that you love her, care about her, and appreciate her. They are an excellent surprise to bring home from work to let the love of your life know how much she means to you. Unfortunately, many men use flowers only as a way to apologize for something they’ve done wrong.

The problem with using flowers or other gifts as a way to mend a relationship is they weaken the actual apology. To your ex girlfriend, it comes across as, “Here are some flowers. These should make up for anything I’ve done wrong in the relationship.” It makes it appear as though you are trying to buy your way back into the relationship. It’s like saying, “I can continue to make mistakes and treat you poorly in the relationship as long as I keep buying you flowers.” Your ex girlfriend will see right through it.

If you want to make up for something you’ve done wrong in the relationship that pushed your girlfriend away, then make a sincere, heart-felt apology one time and then commit to changing. For example, if you were always the jealous type, then apologize for not trusting her and then work on improving yourself so you don’t get jealous every time she talks to another guy or goes out with friends without you. This is the only true way you’ll ever mend the relationship. Flowers can’t fix the problem.

After all, when you come home with flowers do you want your ex girlfriend thinking, “Uh oh, what did he do wrong this time?”, or do you want her thinking, “I feel so loved and appreciated. I have the best man in the world.” It’s up to you to decide which reaction you train your girlfriend to have.

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