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An article on EzineArticles.com titled, “Top Ten Ways To Have An Affair And Not Get Caught… ” is also a list of ten ways to discern if your significant other, spouse or lover is being unfaithful.
Regardless of what leads someone to be unfaithful, you need to know if you are in a relationship with someone who is unfaithful. The following Ten Ways to Not Get Caught Having an Affair is listed below with the requisite Tips to discern if your partner is unfaithful.
o Never bring your lover to your home.
However, rest assured there are tell-tale signs in other areas that you have access to–coat and pants pockets, purse, briefcase or vehicle with obvious items that belong to a woman/man or are from unfamiliar hotels, restaurants or night clubs. Check the passenger car seat–is it positioned different? Comment about this difference and note the reaction or explanation from your significant other. Look for items in the car–such as: lipstick marked tissue, hair pins, paper with unfamiliar information, pen, glasses or other items that don’t belong to either you or your significant other. Ask your significant other about these items and note the reaction or explanation.
o Never go to your lover’s home (unless they are completely single and free from the ties of marriage and/or a serious relationship.) If they get caught by their significant other, chances are your spouse will also find out.
While you may think there is nothing you can do to discover if your significant other is going to his/her lover’s home, there is. Check the mileage on his/her odometer–you can then discern if he/she drove to work and worked late, as she/he stated or if there are additional miles. Then the question is: What created the additional miles? The next step is to ask the obvious question. ‘You said you worked late last night, where did you go?’ If your significant other uses his/her car for business away from the office this tip won’t work. However, the other tips will be adequate for reasonable cause for further investigation.
o Never call your new companion from your home phone and/or your cell phone (if your spouse has access to your phone records.)
Getting a new or another cell phone without your knowledge is a high probability. Check in obvious places where he/she might keep a cell phone–purse, briefcase, pocket, car trunk, car compartments, under the seat, behind the visor and besure to check the waste receptacle if there is one.
Make a note if your significant other sets up a new e-mail account and doesn’t tell you about it. Ask about the account and note his/her reaction/explanation.
o Never give your new friend your home phone number.
This tip is primarily worthless, because if the ‘new friend’ knows your significant other’s first and last name there are many ways he/she can obtain a home phone number. Many times an unfaithful partner has rued the day they started the affair, because their ‘new friend’ obtained the home number and made phone calls to his/her home hoping to catch him/her at home. So, although, this tip seems worth gold it isn’t worth much. Furthermore, if a ‘new friend’ wants to find more information about where their new lover lives, etc. there are many ways to obtain the information.
In the era of electronic communication, social media, texting, sexting and avatar games the opportunities to not only have an affair or emotional affair and not get caught seems to have quadrupled. Not so fast would-be cheaters. There is an app for that. Yes, indeed there are many inexpensive apps to track activity on a cell phone, computer, iPads, etc.
You can find revealing information without professional help by looking in a few key places on a shared computer or his/her personal computer, Ipad, etc, or any social media or dating sites.
Data recovery tools, tracking and monitoring software and hardware, are easy to obtain. If you do not have the time or inclination to be the investigator you can hire a private investigator. Investigators have access to a myriad of new tools and technology with which to gather information and track activity.
A woman, I know, who suspected her husband was having an affair or was searching, decided to check dating sites. She was shocked how easy she found his profile, by searching by age, town, and basic details she surmised her would have in his profile. Once she was sure she had selected the right profile, which did not include a photo, she set up her profile with details she knew would attract him. She contacted him and asked for his photo. In a few hours, she received a photo of her husband, who requested a photo from her. She delayed sending the photo and engaged in a text conversation to the extent, he decided to meet with her sight unseen. At the appointed coffee date venue… she greeted him… You are busted.
You can find revealing information without professional help by looking in a few key places on a shared computer or his/her personal computer, Ipad, etc, or any social media or dating sites.
There are ten ways cheaters can be betrayed by technology, often the same technology that is aiding them in their indiscretion.
o Keep a low profile when you are out with your lover. You would be surprised how many people know you and/or your spouse, who unbeknownst to you may see you lavishing inappropriate attention on your new companion in public.
This tip is also a perfect tip how you can discern if your significant other is being unfaithful. When you socialize with his/her co-workers listen carefully what they say about your significant other. Such statements are worth gold. One woman, whose husband was having an affair, flirted with all the single women at work related events. She considered this flirting harmless since he was flirting in front of her. She reasoned that if he flirted in front of her, that he was just having fun and there was nothing to it. It wasn’t until one of his colleagues said to her–“You should see how her flirts when you aren’t around.” The colleague had credibility with her. She reviewed all aspects of the relationship for the past six months. She investigated some now logically suspicious incidents and discovered a few weeks later that he was having an affair with her best friend. Having an affair with a spouse’s best friend is highly common.
o Do your best to meet with your lover out of town–somewhere far enough away from home that you do not know people and people do not know you.
While this tip seems fool-proof it can be what trips the scale in your favor. How often can your significant other take a trip out of town without raising your suspicion? Unless, she/he travels regularly for business, this tip works more in the favor of the faithful partner. However, if your significant other does travel regularly, there are many tell-tale signs if she/he is being unfaithful. Notice any changes in his/her travel habits–leaving Sunday A.M. instead of the usual P.M., returning Saturday A.M/P.M. instead of Friday P.M., change of hotel, failure to give the hotel name or number, having an open return date, etc. What to do if you suspect your significant other is traveling with and/or meeting his/her ‘new friend?’ Doing some detective work is in order.
o Try to set up a regular schedule of ‘dates’ with your lover. If your spouse expects you to be out of town for business overnight every Wednesday, he/she will not suspect anything when you maintain this schedule and include your new friend in your overnight stays.
A specific day every week can be managed in town as well as out of town. However, the wise person, who wants to know the truth about his/her partner’s life apart from them, will pick up on the minute changes that every unfaithful partner exhibits. Notice if she/he has stopped bemoaning having to travel as often, or work late. Notice if she/he exhibits nervousness or excitment as she/he gets ready to leave for a trip. Notice what clothes she/he packs. If she/he is having an affair–she/he will buy new clothes or take an additional set of clothes. Notice if she/he comes home with new clothes atypical of his/her style.
o Do not become too confident in your ability to deceive your spouse. If you become too sure of yourself, you will get sloppy and you may get caught.
Psychologically, every unfaithful significant other wants to be caught. Being unfaith is not the problem–the issue is that the person is using unfaithfulness as a way to solve the ‘real’ problem. Therefore, if you want to know your significant other is being unfaithful, he/she won’t be able to be careful enough to stop you from knowing.
o Do not tell everyone you know about your illicit trysts. You should trust very few, if any, friends with your secret.
Even if your significant other hasn’t told anyone about his/her unfaithfulness rest assured colleagues/friends will notice a difference in his/her demeanor, style, etc. Trust yourself if you want to know if your significant other is unfaithful and you will know sooner than later.
o Do not make promises you cannot keep. Nothing will prompt your lover to reveal your affair to your spouse quicker than your failure to fulfill some insincere commitment to end your marriage for him or her.
It is ironic this tip has the most foreboding warning. Note: An unfaithful partner is having an affair with a person, who is also being unfaithful–not only to her/himself, but to men/women. Unfaithfulness is being unfaithful to your integrity to yourself. And notice the betrayer will betray the betrayer if she/he is scorned. Maybe that is why we have the cliché “Hell, hath no furry like a woman scorned.” A more accurate cliché–“Hell, hath no furry like a person scorned.”
Other tips your significant other is unfaith are:
-The most significant tip is: Asking yourself the question in the first place. Are you pretending what you are seeing, sensing or observing isn’t what you think it is. Are you ignoring or explaining away what you are seeing, sensing or observing?
-Your significant other seems less comfortable around you and is “touchy” and angers easily.
-He/she loses attention to the activities in the home.
-Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right – not the same or there is unexplained tension.
-He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home.
-He/she has a “glow.”
-Atypical behavior.
-He/she is frequently gone longer than stated.
-He/she is more difficult to reach by phone.
The percentage of people who will cheat despite the breach in ethics or risk of discovery is unknown.
Last, but not least, there is an app for that and you are it. You are the only one who can prevent you from knowing if your significant other, spouse, lover is having an emotional affair or a full fledged affair.
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